There is no one size fits all when it comes to divorce. Every situation is different from the next and some people may find a different approach works best for them but ultimately, everyone has the same goal; a quick and amicable separation.
1. Firstly, consider whether reconciliation is worth exploring. Reconciliation may not seem possible but discussing this may at the very least rule it out as a possibility allowing both spouses to move on. It is useful to know at this stage that counselling is very different from mediation as these are often confused with each other. Counselling can be used to explore and attempt reconciliation while mediation is used to facilitate negotiations allowing both parties to move on. We can recommend local counsellors and mediators if you want to explore this further.
2. Take legal advice. It is never too early to take advice as it helps prepare you for what to expect. People often have a countless number of questions such as who will the children live with, where will I live, what will happen to our home and seeking legal advice sooner rather than later can help put your mind at rest. It is even more useful when both spouses take separate and independent legal advice so that they both feel prepared and neither person feels disadvantaged.
3. Find the original marriage certificate. It isn’t unusual for people to misplace their marriage certificate as it’s not often needed. The original marriage certificate is however required to complete an application for divorce. If it can’t be found then an official copy can be ordered from the General Register Office which we can help you with.
4. At all times remain calm, polite and considerate. Divorce will inevitably be an emotional process and each spouse can react differently. Emotions brought about in divorce can interfere with the negotiations to do with the finances, the children and anything else related to the separation which in turn can lead to unwanted delay. It is easier said than done separating these emotions but doing so can have long term benefits such as building the foundations for good relationship as co-parents. As solicitors, our role is to act in your best interests therefore, we do not ignore the emotions that stem from divorce but we do not let them interfere with the process.
Divorce will always be a time of uncertainty where spouses find themselves between one chapter and another. The steps set out above are all geared towards preparation, organisation and an open dialogue which will all help minimise the uncertainty people can sometimes feel.
If you are considering divorce then please contact Sahil Aggarwal or another member of the Moore Blatch family team for further information.
